Author Archives: Alana Melos

I’m in Love with the Handsome Mummy Racecar in my Butt by Dr. Chuck Tingle

Title: I’m in Love with the Handsome Mummy Racecar in my Butt 
Series: NA
Author: Twice Hugo Nominated Author Dr. Chuck Tingle
Genre: Erotica, Humor, Tingler
Pages: 33
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall: 4 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Naughty Book Snitch: Alana

Yeebs is an archeologist of the future who is on the hunt; searching the desert of what was once Daytona Beach for the greatest racetrack in American history after finding a clue on an ancient 8-Eleven soda cup. Unfortunately, Yeebs is coming out empty handed, and the stress is getting to him.

Hoping to blow off some steam, Yeebs goes for a walk in the desert, but ends up stumbling into an ancient automotive tomb below the surface. Soon enough, the archeologist is face to face with a handsome mummy racecar named Winky, who will teach him the true meaning of life… and love, in the fast lane.

This erotic tale is 4,200 words of undead vehicle on gay human action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, cream pies, and sentient mummy racecar love.

This is the last installment of Tinglefest 2017. Sadly, I have fallen behind due to real life responsibilities, but here’s the pretty banner I made!

This story is one of Dr. Tingle’s “living object” tinglers wherein a person has sex with an object which is somehow, miraculously, alive. In this case, it’s a car, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Yeebs is an archaeologist of the future digging around for Daytona Beach. He takes a break and wanders away from the site, despondent over his career. However, a job’s a job and he’s resigned himself to it.

Through an accident, he falls into the Daytona race track, long hidden by the shifting sands of a post apocalyptic future. Not only that, but something is alive in there! It’s… it’s… a car wrapped in bandages like a mummy! The mummy racecar demands to know what he’s looking for, and poor Yeebs replies with “experience”, not knowing what else to say. It turns out the mummy racecar is also looking for experience, and that he wasn’t always the sleek racecar we know him as now. He introduces himself as Winky.

Yeah, intentional or not, that’s the first thing I thought of.

Winky then takes Yeebs (Ok, Dr. Tingle, what is up with these names, man? Names of the future? Or just sounds that people make when they’re born and they’re stuck with them?) on a ride, and that’s when things get sexy! I don’t need to tell you what happens, though the ending cracked me up, seriously cracked me up. While it’s not his best tingler, it still made me laugh. I give this one eight out of ten drive shafts! And now, here are some gifs for you to enjoy because, well, because people fucking cars.

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Review ~ Living Corn James Corny Fired in the Butt by Dr. Chuck Tingle

Title: Living Corn James Corny Fired In The Butt 
Series: NA
Author: Twice Hugo Nominated Author Dr. Chuck Tingle
Genre: Erotica, Humor, Tingler
Pages: 31
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall: 5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Naughty Book Snitch: Alana

Dimald Trimp is the head of the American Agriculture Agency, and he’s as corrupt as they come. Lately, it’s been working out fine for the unethical politician, but things are suddenly coming to a head now that James Corny, the handsome living corn in charge of ethics investigations, has shown interest in Dimald’s connection to sentient Russian beets.

With the Russian beets breathing down his neck, Dimald sees no other option but to fire James Corny, but things are always easier said than done in politics. Now Dimald is taking an erotic journey deep within the butt of this sentient vegetable investigator, and learning more about his own true nature than he ever wanted.

This erotic tale is 4,100 words of sentient corn on unethical politician action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, cream pies, and handsome living vegetable love.

Here we are with Tingler #2 in Tinglefest 2017: Living Corn James Corny Fired In The Butt.

Dr. Tingle is, to say the least, up on his politics. This fiction parallels the firing of the … well, you’ve all read the news, of course. I shan’t bore you with it here. However, in true Tingle fashion, Chuck gives us this news warped and twisted, and incredibly funny.

Dimald Trimp becomes the president of the American Agriculture Agency and… wait a second. Dimald… Trimp? Is this perhaps…?

Yeah… I thought so. Just another alternate timeline from Chuck’s voyages! Anyway, he becomes president of the AAA and soon falls into corrupt ways, including taking money from Russian beets. 

Hence, eventually his corrupt ways are under investigation by sexy living corn James Corny, who happens to head the ethics committee in the AAA. When Dimald arranges a meeting between the two to “discuss the situation” with him (re: bribe), James refuses all offers and leaves. Dimald is confronted by the Russian beets and, under panic, decides to fire James. He arranges another meeting at a local bar and, well, James is incredulous that Dimald is firing him because it’s going to raise suspicion on Dimald’s true motives. (GEE, YOU THINK?!) There is also the fine print that Dimald has to fire James from within his own butt.

Oooh-kay. Keep in mind, at this point I assumed it would be while they were having sex. Which they have. They exit out of the bar and go into an alley (classy!) and have some freaky human on living corn sex. Or living corn on human sex. You know, whichever.

After that’s done, it’s time for the firing. I’m just going to leave this quote here to sum it up, though there’s more after this, and it’s hysterically funny, and strangely metaphysical and sad all at once.

Slowly, carefully, I begin to climb up inside the living corn’s butthole. … Eventually, the entire passageway widens into a lush valley with hills and trees. There’s a shoreline in the distance and surrounding it is a beautiful city.

Yup, folks. An entire world inside a living corn’s butthole. I give this tingler ten of ten Russian beets, and I strongly urge people to read Chuck’s work. Whether he’s a made up pen name or a real dude, it doesn’t matter. Love is real, and his works of erotic satire are amazing.

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Review ~ Domald Tromp Pounded In The Butt By His Fabricated Wiretapping Scandal Made Up To Redirect Focus Away From His Seemingly Endless Unethical Connections To Russia by Dr. Chuck Tingle

Title: Domald Tromp Pounded In The Butt By His Fabricated Wiretapping Scandal Made Up To Redirect Focus Away From His Seemingly Endless Unethical Connections To Russia 
Series: NA
Author: Twice Hugo Nominated Author Dr. Chuck Tingle
Genre: Erotica, Humor, Tingler
Pages: 31
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall: 5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Naughty Book Snitch: Alana

Domald Tromp hasn’t been listening to his Timeline Briefings, and now he’s in trouble. To the frustration of his staff, Domald’s incompetence has allowed several unethical timelines to get dangerously close to this one, and facts regarding his administration’s deep connections to the Russian government are leaking left and right.

Domald decides to solve this problem old-fashioned way, with a tweet brazenly declaring that the previous President was wiretapping him. Domald hopes his bizarre fabrication will now dominate the news cycle while he heads out to golf with his Russian T-Rex buddies. Unfortunately, he has simply opened an even bigger can of worms.

Now Domald is forced to confront the physical manifestation of his fictional wiretapping scandal, and is about to learn that his tweet could cause him a lot of problems whether it’s true or not. Of course, this all culminates in a hardcore anal pounding on the golf course that will have your jaw on the floor!

This erotic tale is 4,200 words of sizzling human on handsome political distraction action, including anal, blowjobs, cream pies, rough sex and delusional online post love.

Hi there! I know I have been suspiciously absent as of late (I have to write my own stuff, after all), but would I miss May’s Tinglefest? NEVER!

There’s that bright banner! I am a touch behind, but never fear, you will have two Tinglers this week to make up for it! And now, let us turn our attention to today’s offering: “Domald Tromp Pounded In The Butt By His Fabricated Wiretapping Scandal Made Up To Redirect Focus Away From His Seemingly Endless Unethical Connections To Russia”.

Don… er, excuse me, DOMALD Tromp is a continuing interest of Dr. Tingle’s. In a way, he’s a political activist, an outspoken leader of true buckaroos fighting against the Void in his own way: writing tinglers about it to spread the word and prove that love is real.

In this tingler, we join Domald Tromp as an intern is trying to give him the weekly brief on the different timelines they are following. The government evidently uses this information to try to predict what is going to happen and change the course of their reality to suit their needs best. Domald, of course, is having none of it. He wants to go golfing with his Russian friends Smirnov and Ivanov, who give him lots of money. This is, of course, highly unethical in any timeline–considering the President is not supposed to take bribes from foreign interests–and the staff in the White House are desperately trying to cover this up. It’s not working as Domald just ignores them and tweets to distract people, then goes out golfing anyway.

In true Chuck Tingle fashion, the next happens:

Suddenly, the figure comes into view and I quickly recognize him as the physical manifestation of my own online post aimed at redirecting focus from my seemingly endless unethical connections to Russia.

The living Twitter post (living tweet?) calls Domald out on his BS: he created the lie to distract people from the unethical connections to Russia that he has, and now he must take responsibility for it!

“Here’s the thing,” my living Twitter post says, becoming a little more aggressive in his tone. “I’m not going to let you just create me and then throw me to the wolves. You lie all the time, and you post whatever crazy bullshit comes into your head, but it’s only a matter of time before you have to answer to something you’ve made up. That time is now.”

Next, of course, Domald finds this living tweet so irresistible that he must be boned by him immediately.

I shan’t spoil the ending for you, but like all tinglers, Chuck leaves me smiling. This particular offering also holds another tingler because the soul of books is love: Slammed in the Butt by Domald Tromp’s Attempt to Avoid Accusations of Plagiarism by Removing All Facts or Concrete Plans from His Republican National Convention Speech.

I give this ten of ten B.U.T.T. court wiretaps!

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Futa Dino Riders of the Apocalypse (Season 1, Episode 1): The Magpie

Title: Futa Dino Riders of The Apocalypse (Season 1, Episode 1): The Magpie 
Series: Futa Dino Riders of the Apocalypse #1
Author: Bryce Calderwood
Genre: Science Fiction Erotica
Pages: 23
Heat Level: 3 out of 4 flames
Overall Star Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by: Naughty Book Snitch Alana

The filthy sex-filled adventures of a futanari dinosaur rider at the end of the world.

It’s the year 2135 in what remains of Brooklyn. Life is tough after the apocalypse, especially for futanari dinosaur riders. Xenia only wants a bed, a bath, and to get laid. What she finds instead is trouble in the form of another futanari named Mags, AKA “The Magpie.” Xen saves her and that means Mags owes her. Bigtime.

When Xenia and Mags conduct their “Payment” transaction out in the open, guarded by their attack dinos, sparks (and juices) fly! When Xenia’s done with Mags, she’s going to have a very sore throat!

Futanari Dinosaur Riders of the Apocalypse, Season 1/Episode 1: The Magpie is a 6800-word futa-on-futa deep, choking oral sex and lactation story containing extreme violence and sex and is for legal adults only who aren’t afraid of extremely sloppy, messy sex.

Review

Holy. Crap.

Disclaimer first: I’m not a huge fan of futa-girls. I have nothing against them, mind, it’s just not my kink. If futa-girls ARE your kink, this is the short for you. Holy. Freaking. Crap is it for you! Bryce is a fantastic writer and you can tell within just a few sentences that he’s loving this series he’s made. It’s fun. It’s funny. The lead character Xenia has a sarcastic streak a mile wide. And it’s got freaking dinosaurs in it during the apocalypse! Which means you get some of this too… except people’s heads instead of fries.

Since it’s a short, I can’t say too much lest I give away everything. The basic plot is that Xenia, Dino Rider of the Apocalypse, is a futa, a product of the same genetic tinkering which gave the world dinosaurs. She sees another futa dino rider being attacked and goes to help… and then LIQUIDS EVERYWHERE!

Seriously, Bryce writes some messy, messy stuff… and it’s fantastic. He hits the futa kink hard in this short offering and I can’t wait to see where he’s going to take this world! I give this first episode 9 dinosaur disembowelments out of 10! (PS: The cover is fantastic and I love it so much. The dinosaur just… it just does it for me. We need more authors willing to step outside the lines and make some truly creative stuff like this.)

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Review ~ Turned Gay by the Existential Dread that I May Actually Be a Character in a Chuck Tingle Book

Title: Turned Gay by the Existential Dread that I May Actually Be a Character in a Chuck Tingle Book 
Series: NA
Author: Dr. Chuck Tingle
Genre: Tingler, Erotica, Humor
Pages: 42
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Naughty Book Snitch: Alana

Brad and his wife, Carrie, are all set for a beautiful San Diego vacation, free from the oppressive anxiety of the modern workweek. Things take a turn for the strange, however, when Brad reads the latest Chuck Tingle book and slowly begins to doubt the universe around him.

Were they always staying at the Butt Point Suites? Or was the original name of their hotel Sandy Point? Is the man at the front desk unrealistically handsome? And what are the odds of them ending up in room sixty-nine?

As things begin to unravel, Brad is force to face his deep existential dread in this erotic philological thriller, culminated in a hardcore hot tub encounter with his personified cosmic anxiety.

This erotic tale is 4,800 words of sizzling human on gay personified emotion action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and existential dread love.

This is the last installment of TingleFest 2016!

 

As such, the review is something special….

Review ~ Space Raptor Butt Invasion by Dr. Chuck Tingle

Title: Space Raptor Butt Invasion 
Series: NA
Author: HUGO NOMINATED AUTHOR Dr. Chuck Tingle
Genre: Humor, Erotica, Tingler
Pages: 38
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall Star Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by: Naughty Book Snitch Alana

Space can be a lonely place, especially when you’re stationed by yourself on the distant planet Zorbus. In fact, Lance isn’t quite sure that can last the whole year before his shuttle pod arrives, but when a mysterious visitor appears at Lance’s terraforming station, he quickly realizes that he might not be so alone after all.

Soon enough, Lance becomes close with this mysterious new astronaut, a velociraptor. Together, they form an unlikely duo, which quickly begins to cross the boundaries of friendship into something much, much more sensual.

It’s not gay if it’s a man and a dinosaur, is it?

This erotic tale is 4,100 words of sizzling human on gay dinosaur action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and space raptor love.

Review

A touch late, but here’s the latest for TingleFest 2016!

Nice graphic, eh?

Ah, I actually remember reading this for research when I was getting ready to launch my own erotica career! This, among many other erotica shorts (which I honestly don’t remember–this was the only memorable one), helped to shape my writing. Now, I found out I can’t do humor erotica like Dr. Chuck Tingle. There’s simply no one but the master. As one might argue Virginia Wade started the monster erotica trend (she’s certainly the most famous of the monster erotica indie authors), Chuck Tingle has taken that and ran with it. With scissors. And an eternal love for gay ass.

We start out with a nameless astronaut on Outpost Zorbus. I say nameless because he doesn’t have a name for quite a while. It actually starts out with two astronauts (Pike being the other one) talking and going about their business, rather normally. You would actually think they would end up being lovers, but no! Not in a Tingleverse book. Pike is actually going home, leaving our nameless astronaut here by himself.

Not for long! As he’s outside, he sees another astronaut! Shocked and surprised, when our nameless astronaut goes back to his base, he hears a knocking on the hatch door! Here, we finally learn our astronaut’s name is Lance Tanner as he lets the other astronaut in… only to find out he is a velociraptor!

The raptor’s name is Orion. Over the next few days they start to hang out and get to know each other. It’s actually quite sweet to read. The subject of sex comes up, and Orion admits he’s never had sex with a human for fear of crushing a human female. Lance brings up the subject of gay sex… and Orion agrees, thinking he “might be into that”. This leads to the best line in the book:

“I mean, it’s not gay if it’s a dude raptor and a dude human, right?” I ask.

What follows is actually a pretty standard sex scene… other than one partner is a raptor. It’s weird reading an early Chuck Tingle book because it’s actually.. not so WTF and more just hot dino sex. I’m of the opinion one doesn’t read Chuck Tingle for the erotica, but for the humor. However, this is when the author was still finding his feet. As it is, it’s a solid introduction to the Tingleverse, a sweet and somewhat hot gay dino/dude love scene, and a great parallel to Chuck’s later works which go off the chart crazy. I would give this 7 “Totally Not Gay” Astronauts out of 10.

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Review ~ President Domald Loch Ness Tromp Pounds America’s Butt by Dr. Chuck Tingle

Title: President Domald Loch Ness Tromp Pounds America’s Butt 
Series: NA
Author: HUGO NOMINATED AUTHOR Dr. Chuck Tingle
Genre: Humor, Erotica, Tingler
Pages: 42
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall Star Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by: Naughty Book Snitch Alana

Read Alana’s Goodreads review here.

Pibbles Pooch is a young, hotshot journalist with Bowling Bones Magazine, who’s just started his week on the presidential campaign trail with the notorious billionaire, Domald Tromp.

But things immediately get off to a rocky start when Domald tells another journalist that he’s fired, and then proceeds to throw him off of the plane mid-flight. Not surprisingly, the candidate’s approval ratings go through the roof.

Soon enough, things are going from bad to worse when Pibbles receives some top secret information about the real Domald Tromp, a man who may or may not actually be the Loch Ness Monster, and who may or may not be craving a lustful encounter within Pibbles’ tight butthole.

This erotic tale is 5,000 words of sizzling human on gay politican action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and Domald Loch Ness Tromps love.

Review

This is the second in my TINGLEFEST 2016 series! Here, let me whip out the graphic again.

There! TingleFest 2016 continues with President Domald Loch Ness Tromp Pounds America’s Butt, which is very topical! This is obviously a stand in for a presidential candidate… I don’t think I need to say which one. If I do, then you really need to turn on a television or a computer.

We start out with Pibbles Pooch, a small up and coming journalist for a small paper who observes that all of the journalists around him are both war weary, and like sharks at the same time. The analogy is very apt. He writes that everyone around him is jaded, but that any small action by either candidate during the election season is apt to send them into a tizzy of activity. This, I think, is a remarkably astute observation on Dr. Tingle’s part. It does seem that our journalists are locked into this sort of activity in the name of ratings, and pushing particular agendas for their paper and/or television station.

Anyway, as they fly with Domald Tromp on his HUGE jet plane (Keith, is that you?), he starts taking questions… and I have to say, Dr. Tingle caught that certain political candidate’s words and tone perfectly. It was eerie reading it. Domald goes on to say several things, and while I rarely quote from books, I have to quote this:

“Speaking of immigration, I was wondering if you had anything you’d like to say about the dinosaurs who are upset about your racist comments regarding them crossing the border into America,” Barno suddenly interjects.

“Well, first of all I was talking about illegal dinosaurs, not legal dinosaurs,” Tromp explains. “If you were paying attention you’d know that, but you know what? I think you’re kind of a third rate journalist for asking that question. That’s what I think.”

Domald Tromp says he can do anything. To prove it, he fires Barno on the spot and has the stewardesses throw him out of the plane.

Immediately, Barno starts to struggle against the stewardesses, but it is already too late. There is a wild yell as my friend is thrown from the airplane, whipping out into the vast blue sky and then plummeting down through the clouds behind us as he tumbles end over end.

The door slams shut, leaving the room in total silence.

“That’s what I think of lightweight journalists. I think that’s fair,” says Domald Tromp.

Yup. Wow. Damn. It would be funny if I couldn’t see that happening with crystal clear clarity in our world and not just the Tingleverse.

Shaken up, our young journalist tries to relax while at the rally (where Domald promises everyone in America a steak dinner), but Barno’s boss calls him saying he’s got some revealing information on Domald Tromp! Alone in his room on the jet plane, our young journalist waits for the email and it’s a doozy… Domald Tromp was born not in America, but in Scotland and it turns out his name is Domald Loch Ness Tromp! AND he’s a dinosaur! Not JUST a dinosaur but the Loch Ness monster! Other than his Scotland roots, I’m just not sure why he hides the fact he’s a dinosaur. He could be the first dinosaur president of the United States!

 

I also imagine this is what he looks like:

As soon as Pibbles gets the email, he’s called into Domald’s office. There, he can see it. Finally he can see it! And once he does, he’s possessed by a strange gay lust (Pibbles’ words!) for the Jurassic beast. Domald, smitten with Pibbles’ good looks, tells Pibbles his plan for America.

“I’m going to tell it like it is,” the creature explains, “because that’s just the way I do thing. I love America, I really do. In fact, I love America so much that I want to pound it in the butt.”

“In the butt?” I ask.

“Yes,” Domald nods, “and if I’m going to start the process of pounding America in the butt, I’d like to start with you. With your beautiful, muscular rump.”

Does that pounding come with the steak dinner he promised? Or is it BECAUSE of the steak dinner he feels the need to pound America in the butt?

After that, of course, is the sexy part, which is really hysterical to read. I couldn’t do it justice here, but I highly recommend it. Afterwards, we find out the American people voted against him. I imagine it was kind of like this:

I have to say… this short is awesome. Dr. Tingle captures Don… er Domald’s personality exactly, and it’s a bit of a horrifying read. Still funny, but horrifying at the same time. He pretty much nails the political climate for the Republican party on the head, and offers up his own theories as to why Domald is popular. It’s weird, contemporary, on point, funny, a bit sexy, and extremely fun to read. There IS a bonus Tingler at the end, but I am running out of time this week, so you will have to discover that sexy funny tale on your own! I give this short 10 out of 10 illegal dinosaurs!

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Review ~ Pounded by President Bigfoot by Chuck Tingle

Title: Pounded by President Bigfoot 
Series: NA
Author: HUGO NOMINATED AUTHOR Dr. Chuck Tingle
Genre: Humor, Erotica, Tingler
Pages: 40
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall Star Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by: Naughty Book Snitch Alana

Read Alana’s Goodreads review here

Allen has been interested in politics his entire life, but when things don’t work out the way he’d planned, Allen settles for a fast paced carrier in political journalism.

It’s no surprise that Allen jumps at the chance to interview President Yuldok, a bigfoot, as well as the first non-human president of the United States. Allen also has his suspicions about the president’s sexuality, which come to a head during the interview.

Soon enough, Allen is making history by taking a gay pounding in the oval office from the first bigfoot president!

This erotic tale is 4,300 words of sizzling human on gay bigfoot action, including anal, blowjobs, double penetration, rough sex, and presidential beast love.

Review

I’ve been meaning to review Chuck Tingle’s work for a long time, because I love it. I love that he writes what he wants to write, and to heck with everyone else (and Ted Cobbler)! He writes to spread love and joy in the weirdest way possible, which is actually quite funny. Plus, he recently got nominated for a Hugo! I’m serious! I know some other authors who are viewing the nomination as a terrible thing, the fourth seal of the Apocalypse, and all in all just bad taste in showing how far politics rule the Hugos (and they do), but I think it’s fantastic! Why NOT an erotic author?

To this effect, I am unveiling this… TINGLEFEST 2016!

Whether Chuck Tingle is someone’s pen name, a real guy who has a thing for spaghetti and weird erotica, or a mix between the two, he’s made an impact in the erotica world. Some hate him. Some love him. But absolutely NO ONE will deny he’s the most bizarre-can’t-look-away-what-in-the-heck-did-I-just-read erotic author out there.

This is one of his first books (though not his very first… I think a couple of them got republished, which messed up the dates and I’m not actually sure which IS first), Pounded by President Bigfoot.

We start off in the mind of a handsome gay blogger Allen Bennett. Allen tells us about how Bigfeet, or Sasquatches, came out in a big press release because their natural habit was being encroached upon by people. In just a short while, they integrated smoothly into the American way of life and could be found everywhere waiting tables, pumping gas, or even holding small government positions.

Eventually, one surprised everyone and ran for president! Ah, Gardook Yuldok won the nomination and eventually the election to become the first bigfoot president! It was quite scandalous as he wasn’t married, so people theorized he might have been the first GAY president, but since the interspecies election held more sway, people just didn’t care so much about the gay aspect. I will point out here the text does say incorrectly that Gardook is the first president without a First Lady. This is wrong. The honor actually goes to James Buchanan.

Anyway, our lucky blogger gets a press pass to conduct an interview with President Yuldok! Allen is stressing himself trying to think of the hard hitting questions, but when the times comes, President Yuldok asks if he can fuck Allen.

At least the president doesn’t beat around the bush! The rest of the book is Allen at first saying no, and then coming to grips that he wants that big old bigfoot cock up his ass.

I found this book incredibly amusing, and while there were a couple of small errors (and some formatting paragraph indent weirdness, but I get where that comes from and sometimes with the software Amazon makes authors use, you get weird formatting), it was actually very well written. Oh, sure, it talks about how much Allen needs that big cock up his ass, but I found it actually quite clever and tender at the same time. There really is nothing like a Tingleverse erotic short. (PS: A lot of people aren’t to get that gif below, but that’s ok.)

In addition to Pounded by President Bigfoot, because the soul of books is love, we get a bonus story: I’m Gay for My Living Billionaire Jet Plane! This was a completely pleasant surprise for me as it was on my list of TBR for Tinglefest 2016. So, gentle readers, you get two Tinglers for the price of one!

I’m Gay for My Living Billionaire Jet Plane starts out with a guy, Alex, being nervous on a flight like we all are. He hears a voice out of nowhere comforting him, saying things will be alright. At first he thinks it’s the overhead speaker, but it’s not… it’s the plane! 

Alex is relieved, and finds out the plane’s name is Keith. Keith’s a pretty righteous dudebro who became a billionaire by counting cards in blackjack in Vegas. Don’t ask how Keith fit into the casino. Just… just don’t. Anyway, it turns out Keith is a little lonely and invites Alex over to hang with him like bros do and have some beers. Alex accepts and here’s where things start to get surreal. I know, I know, START to get surreal?

When Alex goes over to Keith’s mansion, he finds Keith hanging out by the pool since he can’t fit inside his house. Alex feels sorry for Keith, realizing that he’s really an outcast and offers to do something normal for him, like put sunscreen on his back. He’s especially interested in this after Keith takes off his shirt and reveals his cut six pack of abs. I’ve never noticed abs on my plane before when I flew, but… sure. Why not?

From there, Alex starts rubbing Keith down hard and then sees a smooth cock and balls! He just can’t resist riding that plane, and there the wild living object man sexing starts!

This one is a trip. Pounded by President Bigfoot was awesome, sort of tender, and a commentary on how anyone can be president… but bigfeet are still living things. Creatures, if fantastic, made of flesh and blood. This is a fucking plane. Literally, a fucking plane. Trippy, weird, and still somehow sweet at the same time, I couldn’t help but to smile all the way through this short, through both shorts actually. HUGO NOMINATED AUTHOR Dr. Chuck Tingle is a master of comedic, satirical, erotic commentary. The formatting can use a little work, true, but his son by the name of Jon does pretty good editing his stuff. It’s not that distracting. Hell, I think some of MY shorts have more errors, and I’m a fanatic about finding them. The thing about the Tingleverse is not that it’s erotic or funny, but that it’s sweet. And it is. It’s more romantic than a lot of romances I’ve read out there, and while I can’t vouch for the gay sex (even though I write it, it’s really not my kink), it is CERTAINLY imaginative! I can’t imagine anyone NOT smiling during a Tingler. I highly recommend this book, especially because of the bonus story… you get two Tinglers for the price of one! How can you not like that?

In the end, I give this book 9 Official Presidential Buttplugs out of 10.

 

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Review ~ Pegged by My Kawaii Anime Waifu by Sakura Von Sternberg

Title: Pegged by My Kawaii Anime Waifu 
Series: NA
Author: Sakura Von Sternberg
Genre: Humor, Erotica
Pages: 51
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall Star Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by: Naughty Book Snitch Alana
Read Alana’s Goodreads review here.

Kevin is an otaku.

No, scratch that: he’s an Otaking.

An obsessive anime fan. A total recluse. An irascible internet scold.

But don’t worry: he’s also found love. He is the proud husband of Akane Matsunaga. Who is Akane? She’s the main character of his favorite anime series, of course. A fictional 2D character to whom Kevin has devoted himself completely.

In other words: his waifu.

But what happens when his waifu becomes corporeal and real? And what if she’s a little more kinky and dominant than he might have realized? What if she brought with her a ten-inch toy that she fully intends to use on her 3D suitor?

Watch out, Kevin. Akane’s about to put the “oh!” in “moe.”

This 11,000+ word femdom story is intended for adults only. It contains graphic descriptions of adult situations, including humiliation, bondage, domination, pegging, psychic sex, and other fun activities. Reader discretion is advised.

All characters depicted in this story are over the age of eighteen.

Review

First things first, I am an unashamed, unapologetic Sakura fangirl. Although each story of hers has been in a different style, from elegant and creepy, to sci-fi-riffic and tongue-in-cheek, I can tell at a glance it’s her writing, and I adore it. She is a master wordsmith, and I don’t say that lightly. So… this will be me fangirling like crazy. Fair warning!

This story… oh, this story. Kevin, or Kebinu-kun, is an anime fanboy to the Nth degree… or “Otaking” as he puts it. His life is in tatters, but it doesn’t matter if he lives in his mom’s basement… so long as he has his pure and innocent waifu to drool over. Who needs 3D sex when he has the 2D pure and innocent love of an anime girl?

Of course his passion isn’t totally innocent, and it’s not gone unnoticed by his cuddle pillow, which is Akane… the 2D waifu Kebinu-kun is so enamored of. Somehow, magically, Akane comes to life, ripped from the pillow while Kebinku is sleeping and hijinx ensue.

Oh man… the summation doesn’t do it justice. It really doesn’t. It’s so fucking funny. Everyone knows someone like Kevin, who is obsessed with something to the point of being a public safety hazard. I’ve known a few guys and girls like that. Hell, I’ve even been like that at times! Though I never lived in my mother’s basement. The exaggeration only goes to show the satirical side of this story. It pokes fun at all things the author loves… and I can tell Sakura loves this stuff. The story is lovingly crafted, each word chosen with precision. It’s such a smooth read.

There’s no bad in this story for me. True, pegging isn’t one of my big kinks, so the heat level wasn’t that hot for me personally, but if YOU enjoy femdom and pegging (which I do enjoy femdom, and OMG Akane had me in stitches), this will be a hot, funny, and satisfying read for you. I give it ten out of ten cum-stained anime cuddle pillows. Now, pardon me while I go back to fangirling.

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Review ~ Necromantic Encounter by Sakura Von Sternberg

Title: Necromantic Encounter 
Series: NA
Author: Sakura Von Sternberg
Genre: Horror/Erotica “Horrorotica”
Pages: 24
Heat Level: 3 out of 4 flames
Overall Star Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by: Naughty Book Snitch Alana
Read Alana’s Goodreads review here.

He thought it was the perfect crime. When Jack—a self-professed “bluebeard” and murderer of women—finally disposed of his obscenely rich wife, he thought he’d get away with it. He thought she would be just like all the others.

But he was wrong. Dead wrong.

Because unbeknownst to Jack, the specter of his now-deceased wife has risen from her unmarked grave: blood-spattered, brutalized, and ready for revenge. But that’s not all she’s after. This phantom isn’t just out for vengeance. She also hungers for a little… erotic stimulation. Will Jack survive the experience?

Written in the style of a nineteenth-century gothic novel, Necromantic Encounter is guaranteed to titillate and terrify in equal measure!

This 6,400+ word story contains adult material that may not be suitable for all audiences. Recommended only for the strong of heart.

 

Review

Well.

I have to say it IS only for the strong of heart. This is a story which starts off terribly Victorian. The prose is Victorian. The way the narrator speaks is Victorian. I swear I could have been reading a book by one of the Bronte sisters. In the beginning. And then it takes a somewhat abrupt left turn, kind of like this:

Our protagonist is a self-professed “Bluebeard”. He’s killed his wives before, but he swears THIS time he won’t! Reminds me of a certain someone from popular fiction.

So, then of course his independent wife annoys him, and well, he just has to take care of her. This is where the book took the left turn. It’s like… this is the Tell-Tale heart if Poe wrote erotica. This is horror, pure and simple, mixed in with eroticism in a way that made me sit up and take notice. This is the true essence of horrorotica. You’re not supposed to be turned on by it, but you are. My reaction reading it was like this:

I wasn’t sure what kind of face to make! I was in turns horrified and electrified. The book promises thrills and chills, and it delivers. Holy. God. It delivers. I got goosebumps while reading it, and I was glued to each electronic page. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. It didn’t quite frighten me… but it was close enough. It wasn’t just the horror aspect, but the attraction to the macabre which hit really close to home. I’m a horror fan, and I often take delight in other things people find gruesome and ghastly, so for me, this was like… an ultimate piece of writing. A… a… weird sort of self-reflection where I looked at the things I like and went, “Yeah… maybe this isn’t quite normal. Or healthy.” The obsession written here is feverish. I cannot stress enough that you leave feeling that you shouldn’t have been aroused, but the only other option was to be scared.

Sakura writes it very much like it needed to be: as a Victorian novel gone horribly wrong. I had just finished reading Kanye West–Reanimator in which the author writes Kanye West into a Lovecraft story, written in the Lovecraftian style, which made me reread some Lovecraft. This is a book that can be shelved right next to Lovecraft without missing a beat. The style is impeccable. The prose is clean (there was one error that I found, but I was so into it I skipped right past it and now I’ve forgotten where it was!). The story is ghoulish and gruesome, but incredibly sexy at the same time. It’s a work of art. It’s the meshing of two things that should not be mixed to make a incredibly beautiful piece of art.

Yes.

Art. This is art. It takes skill to write something like this, a skill which I admit I’m jealous of. Actually jealous. If you’re into horror, you’ll love it. If you’re into erotica, you’ll… find parts of this uncomfortably arousing. If you are into literature, you’ll find it a fascinating read. The only complaint I have about this book is the cover. It just doesn’t do it justice. I give it 10 out of 10 Bluebeards.

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