“A Perfect Fit” kicks off the Belle Shorts series and contains adult content, mild domination, and first time girl-on-girl sex. In this short story (approx. 10,000 words), the characters lay the groundwork for an FFM threesome.
Belle and Leo have the perfect relationship—they love, they lust, they laugh. But there’s one thing missing: they still haven’t fulfilled their fantasy of having a threesome. So far, Belle’s jealousy has made it impossible for them to invite another woman into their bed.
When Leo takes Belle shopping for her birthday gift, she doesn’t know what to expect, but it certainly isn’t a trip to a lingerie boutique. Then Belle meets the gorgeous saleswoman, Ariana, and can’t keep her mind from wandering to her favorite fantasy.
Once they’re alone in the luxe dressing room, Ariana stops behaving like a typical saleswoman. As she helps Belle try on lingerie, her hands wander all over Belle’s body.
Belle must decide whether she’ll give in to the desire stirred by Ariana. If she does, what would it mean for her relationship with Leo? Will Ariana have a place in their bedroom, and their future?
The synopsis of the story is pretty simple: Belle and her boyfriend Leo go lingerie shopping. Hijinks ensue with the sales clerk in the dressing room.
Let me tell you something now, book snitch followers: I am not a fan of the ‘people meet in a *fill in the blank* and fuck’ type of story. Even if it’s a short, even if it’s just set in one place, there needs to be a little something more there for me… a hint at characterization, a bit of history, some silly plot twist which enables the sexy times… something. Just a little something-something extra. Most erotica shorts set up the situation and let the characters go at it, and that’s all. I gotta have that something extra in order to make it worth my time to read.
Thankfully, this does have a little something-something extra. It’s a bit contrived, sure, but it’s erotica so that’s not so much an issue here. There’s a lot of build up, which is nice. It doesn’t just jump right into the banging. I appreciate that. The sex is… alright. It’s basically one f/f scene which is really freaking long with a good build up. If all you’re looking for is a stroke… this might do it for you.
Unfortunately, there were two major things wrong with this piece. The first is the sentence structure and grammar used. Now, I didn’t see any misspellings, typos, dialogue tags out of place, and so on, so hurray, the first grammar hurdle was jumped! However, the second grammar hurdle–sentence structure–caused me to grind to a halt and reach for my red pen. The passive voice, the bane of all writers, was used a lot in the beginning. Once it got into the sex and less with the description of things, that eased a little. It still reared its ugly head enough that I noticed, and when I notice stuff like that it catapults me out of the story.
An addendum to that are the sentence fragments which begin with “but”. (lol I said but, yes I’m juvenile) While far fewer in the text, those fragments get distracting as well because you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. Some of those can be accredited to writing style; plenty of authors use sentence fragments to punctuate their text, or to give their prose a unique rhythm. However, I think it was accidental in this case. The last bit is the word usage. I got tired of reading clitoris. Change it up! Use clit (which was done towards the end, but then it was clit this and clit that and Stan you need to find the clitoris…), nub, pleasure center, heat, wetness, core of her being, epicenter of her pleasure plateau, skyscraper of her pussy… whatever. Brings to mind: vagina… I actually appreciate it being called a vagina in the book, but that’s awfully… technical for erotica, isn’t it? What about pussy? Cunt? Love tunnel, pleasure sleeve, the magical sexy tunnel to promised land?
All of those errors can be forgiven in a good story. Hell, look at ee cummings! He didn’t punctuate or do nothing at all in his poetry, and he’s famous! Dead, but famous. The second part is harder to forgive… Belle was a fucking idiot.
Like seriously, an idiot… and a cheating idiot to boot. She goes into the dressing room, and the clerk, Arianna, keeps brushing her nipples “accidentally” while she’s helping her change. Once? Sure, an accident. Twice? Nope. Of course, two things occurred to me when she did that, the first of which was ultimately practical: I would sue and OWN that fucking store. The second cracked me up, and not in the good way. It’s from Bordello of Blood where the mortician is touching a dead woman’s nipples while saying “TOOT TOOT”. Once that got into my head, I had to put the story down for a couple hours cause that was all I saw. Sadly, I have no gif for that, so this will have to do.
Breast touching aside, while Belle is in the dressing room, she’s hesitant about whether or not Arianna wants her. I can get behind that! Unfortunately, it was so repetitive… and again, someone touching my boobies once might be by accident, second time it’s attraction… or at least sexual harassment. During this, she does think of Leo a few times mostly in a ‘wow, I have to tell him this clerk is hot and hitting on me!’ way. Then she kisses Arianna and… well, she’s a cheater. The two parts that had me headdesking lay at the end. She asked herself if she was cheating, which the answer was yes, yes you are. You had sex with someone else and didn’t clear it with your significant other first. The second was when Leo hinted that he knew they had “fun” in the dressing room, and Arianna says right out it didn’t have to be a one shot thing and slapped her on the ass… Belle was all wide-eyed and “Le gasp! Is there something going on here?”
If I had liked Belle better, I would have probably rated it higher. If there would have been that hinted at menage in there–that’s one of my favorite things in erotica–I would have probably rated it higher. As it is, it’s pretty run of the mill… nothing special one way or another. It’s not particularly awesome, nor particularly bad. Because the sex scene is just one extended sex scene, I had to give it a two flame rating… but it’s a really, really long sex scene so don’t let that fool you. I give it a very middle of the road five used thongs out of ten.
I received this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.