I’m in Love with the Handsome Mummy Racecar in my Butt by Dr. Chuck Tingle

Title: I’m in Love with the Handsome Mummy Racecar in my Butt 
Series: NA
Author: Twice Hugo Nominated Author Dr. Chuck Tingle
Genre: Erotica, Humor, Tingler
Pages: 33
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall: 4 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Naughty Book Snitch: Alana

Yeebs is an archeologist of the future who is on the hunt; searching the desert of what was once Daytona Beach for the greatest racetrack in American history after finding a clue on an ancient 8-Eleven soda cup. Unfortunately, Yeebs is coming out empty handed, and the stress is getting to him.

Hoping to blow off some steam, Yeebs goes for a walk in the desert, but ends up stumbling into an ancient automotive tomb below the surface. Soon enough, the archeologist is face to face with a handsome mummy racecar named Winky, who will teach him the true meaning of life… and love, in the fast lane.

This erotic tale is 4,200 words of undead vehicle on gay human action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, cream pies, and sentient mummy racecar love.

This is the last installment of Tinglefest 2017. Sadly, I have fallen behind due to real life responsibilities, but here’s the pretty banner I made!

This story is one of Dr. Tingle’s “living object” tinglers wherein a person has sex with an object which is somehow, miraculously, alive. In this case, it’s a car, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Yeebs is an archaeologist of the future digging around for Daytona Beach. He takes a break and wanders away from the site, despondent over his career. However, a job’s a job and he’s resigned himself to it.

Through an accident, he falls into the Daytona race track, long hidden by the shifting sands of a post apocalyptic future. Not only that, but something is alive in there! It’s… it’s… a car wrapped in bandages like a mummy! The mummy racecar demands to know what he’s looking for, and poor Yeebs replies with “experience”, not knowing what else to say. It turns out the mummy racecar is also looking for experience, and that he wasn’t always the sleek racecar we know him as now. He introduces himself as Winky.

Yeah, intentional or not, that’s the first thing I thought of.

Winky then takes Yeebs (Ok, Dr. Tingle, what is up with these names, man? Names of the future? Or just sounds that people make when they’re born and they’re stuck with them?) on a ride, and that’s when things get sexy! I don’t need to tell you what happens, though the ending cracked me up, seriously cracked me up. While it’s not his best tingler, it still made me laugh. I give this one eight out of ten drive shafts! And now, here are some gifs for you to enjoy because, well, because people fucking cars.

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Review ~ White Trash: Taking the Billionaire’s Daughter by Viv Phoenix

Title: White Trash: Taking the Billionaire’s Daughter 
Series: none, stand alone
Author: Viv Phoenix
Genre: Contemporary, Dark Erotica
Pages: 41
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Naughty Book Snitch: Mindy
See Mindy’s Goodreads Review Here

 

 

Beware: One part dirty instalove, one part captive-woman BDSM dark romance, one part horror. White Trash is not traditional romance. It includes graphic, scary and sexual material some readers may find disturbing.
White Trash is a short read—if you want a longer book, go get one. 🙂
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Down in the hollow, Callum devours women’s dirty books. Now he’s ready to take the billionaire’s daughter who needs him to be her alpha. Sy just doesn’t know what’s good for her. Yet.

Callum
Sy Thompson’s supposed to be too good for me.

She’s new in town, lives in a mansion up the hill with her frowning parents. I can’t stop watching her. The curvy beauty’s full, lickable body puts my neck out. She’s everything I’m not supposed to have: wealth, polished beauty, purity.

In one night under me, she’ll find out she loves getting dirty. One night, and she’ll know I’m more than enough for her.
She’s going to beg me, and I’m not going to stop until she’s mine.

Sy
Callum looked dangerous-hot, like he might be wanted for something, something real bad.

He scared me from the minute I caught him staring at me. His pale eyes show his dirty, dirty thoughts. Thick muscles writhe when he loads his big truck.
His tattoos make me want to explore his off-limits body.

He’s the kind of man my mother warns me about, a bad man. I know about bad boys. He’s worse.
A man like Callum Blake, he won’t take no for an answer.

If you’re prone to getting freaked out by graphic sex, dirty words, scary scenes, horror, crime fiction, or dark romance, don’t read this book. If you’re easily offended or triggered, don’t even think about reading White Trash. I mean it. This book is way outside the comfort zone for most readers.
Readers like me who find thrills in the dark: This is for you.

 

 

 

 

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Are you kidding me??!! I loved this! I downloaded this just because of the warning 😀 and it was free at the time I downloaded it. It has an awesome cover and catchy title! I must also mention that there really isn’t any billionaires” in this. I mean, Sy is rich, but that is certainly not the focus. I’m really glad for that because I am totally sick of anything related to billionaires right now.

I loved this short story. It was almost everything the warning promised me. I know the author said White Trash is a short read—if you want a longer book, go get one. 🙂 but this was so fantastic, that I really hope Viv Phoenix might expand on this story later. I mean, Callum has brothers. *wink *wink

Speaking of the warning, it does say that this is one part BDSM… well, in my opinion that isn’t entirely true. Maybe an introductory level BDSM and on the very light side. Callum does his homework on Sy so he can make her his. Sy happens to read books that have alpha males and are BDSM themed. So, there is some Master/slave talk in here and one very short spanking/punishment scene. Another part of the warning says one part horror. Again, in my opinion, I wouldn’t consider this horror. Dark? Probably yes or maybe a charcoal gray? This seems to be more of a suspense or thriller. Now, with having said all that, this… White Trash is not traditional romance. It includes graphic, scary and sexual material some readers may find disturbing. is absolutely true and readers should be cautioned.

I gave this 4.5 stars. Why? Callum. I wish he wasn’t so simple minded. It seems that he was raised in a “House of 1000 Corpses” kind of way and extremely hillbilly. Which is good for the story and I get having some hillbillyish ways, but I wish he didn’t seem so slow. He is pretty creepy though.

 

 

“Only thing that could make Sy Thompson prettier would be a big load of my sperm across her pink cheeks. I’d been making tributes on her pictures, so I knew that for sure. Girl looked her best covered in her master’s baby batter.”

 

 

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Callum also has a monster cock. It’s so big that he needs to be careful when he gets hard or he can risk passing out from blood loss to his head. This absolutely cracks me the fuck up every time its referenced. I have seen some monster cock porn and I’m sure he could split Sy in half.

 

 

“I made myself do multiplication tables to keep from getting a complete boner. Being big, I got woozy when I got hard.”

 

 

 

 

Sy Thompson? She is pretty much a TSTL character. Or is she? She is walking around town in those daisy duke shorts, adoring the looks she is getting and she knows who Callum is. Did she plan this? Is she really the mastermind behind this?

Overall, this is a short and fantastic read! Before you pick this up, read the warning the author gives and see if this is something for you. I would love to read more about Callum and Sy and maybe the rest of the Blake clan. This book is listed at $2.99. I wouldn’t pay that much for a short story that is less than 50 pages. I would for sure pay $.99 for it or you can get it on Kindle Unlimited. This is the first time I’ve read this author and I will for sure be reading her again.

 

 

 

 

 

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Review ~ Lumberjacked by Alexandria Hunt

Title: Lumberjacked
Series: none, stand alone
Author: Alexandria Hunt
Genre:Contemporary Romance
Pages: 326
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Naughty Book Snitch: Mindy
See Mindy’s Goodreads Review Here

 

 

Aaron Remington

I needed the money. That’s the only reason I ever signed up for that stupid reality TV show. I wasn’t looking for a wife, I wasn’t looking for love, and I certainly wasn’t interested in any of the bimbo contestants they picked out for me.

I was set to live with ten girls in a mountain retreat near my hometown in Alaska for a month. I was supposed to fake it until I found my “bride”, film the final episode, and walk away a free man with a hundred grand cash in my pocket.

Just enough to pay the back taxes owed on my family’s lumber mill and keep running things for them.

But I hadn’t counted on meeting her. A slick Hollywood TV producer who somehow managed to steal my heart, mess up my plans, and bumble the entire thing by being infuriating and so goddamned irresistible.

 

Reagan Black

I needed this job so bad I could do anything for it. So what if it was taking place in some dirty little town in the middle of no man’s land, Alaska? Who cares if it meant leaving my life and friends and LA behind for a month?

I had to prove that I could do this on my own and succeed not just because my daddy was Pavel Black, the biggest movie producer Hollywood had ever seen.

What I didn’t expect was to find myself out there in the middle of the woods in the strong, muscled arms of a big, bearded lumberjack.

And I never expected to be put in a position where I had to choose between the maddeningly sexy star of our hit show and the career I had always wanted.

Can love win?

 

**This is a full-length (56,000 words) standalone happy ever after. That being said, it also contains angst, some humor, a cute little dog, a hot alpha lumberjack, an uptight LA princess and some pretty steamy sex scenes…so it’s best left to those 18+.

 

 

 

 

Oh, I loved this more than I thought I would. It was really cute, funny in some spots and has an interesting storyline. I devoured this 326 page book in one day.

 

 

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I have a confession. I am a cover whore. I judge books by their cover and I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I have read great books with bad covers, but great covers will get you noticed quicker. This book has an amazing cover and a catchy title. That is why this ended up on my TBR list without reading the synopsis. I am so glad that I read this sooner rather than later. I really loved this!

I wont go into a lot of detail about the book but I’ll admit that I am not a fan of reality TV shows centered around relationships. I watched the first season of The Bachelor when it first came out years and years ago and I watched Average Joe, first season and I really enjoyed that one. But that was it. I had my fill of that crap. So, with that being said…. Aaron gets noticed by a TV producer and is thrust into a reality TV show called Lumberjacked and all to save his family’s business from from going under due to back taxes. He is perfect in every way and the world will fall in love with the Alaskan lumberjack. I’m sure I don’t have to go into detail on how this type of show works… you all get it.

 

 

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Reagan is the producer of the show and Melanie is her “assistant”, who basically does everything and I’m not sure what Reagan really does. But Reagan does acknowledge it and that makes me happy. Well, Aaron and Reagan are instantly attracted to each other and the chemistry is is totally palpable. There is so much sexual tension between these two that I’m pretty sure my kindle melted around the edges a little bit. It’s super fucking hot!

 

 

“he was the kind of guy who could cut a pile of wood with his axe, then come in and fuck you on the kitchen table before dinner.”

 

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“Because if I lacked impulse control, I would be fucking you hard against this here tree right now, Miss Black. I would be buried so deep inside you, we wouldn’t know where I ended and you began.”

 

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Aaron and Reagan have an agreement to stay professional during the filming of Lumberjacked. Ya, right! Melanie has to babysit these two and pretty much needs to put Reagan in a chastity belt.

 

 

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There is sex in the book, but not a lot. Which was perfect for me. But when these two finally hook up for the first time and Aaron says what he says when he’s close to coming… I got belly butterflies. Its been a very long time since that has happened to me.

 

 

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Oh and Nick and Peony….

 

 

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Some of the stuff that got on my nerves, but I am kind of overlooking due to how much I enjoyed the story…. repetitiveness. Oh my LAWD this dry humps my last nerve.

 

 

“Fuck, she was beautiful.”
“God, I wanted to fuck her.”
“But damn, she was beautiful.”
“Fuck she was beautiful.”
“Fuck. She was stunning.”

 

 

And so on…. It’s pretty much only at the beginning, but it is very noticeable. One other thing that annoys me is when Aaron bumps into Reagan and internally thinks how his nine inch cock touched her stomach. I absolutely hate it when a guy sizes up his own dick. Then there are a couple moments where I wanted to smack Reagan across her face for being so naive when Aaron tells her exactly how he feels. Duh Reagan! DUH! Oh and one more… I did have a cliche moment at the end where I rolled my eyes, but I promise that is it.

Overall, I love it. Lumberjacked is a really fun and sexy read. I will most definitely be reading this author again.

 

 

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Review ~ The Knight of Disks by Alana Melos

Title: The Knight of Disks
Series: Villainess #4
Author: Alana Melos
Genre: Action Adventure, Erotica
Pages: 271
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall: 4 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Naughty Book Snitch: Mindy
See Mindy’s Goodreads Review Here

 

 

Mindy’s review for The Queen of Swords (Villainess #1)
Mindy’s review for The Prince of Cups (Villainess Book 2)
Mindy’s review for The Princess of Wands (Villainess Book 3)

 

 

Sometimes, it takes a villain to do a hero’s job…
Mauler is missing, presumed dead.

Although Caprice is certain the cheery werewolf has shuffled off the mortal coil, his vampire partner Adira insists he’s alive, lost in the forest which came alive around them and swallowed him whole. Their investigation into his disappearance awakens a force which was best left slumbering: Pangea.

When Pangea threatens her beloved city, the villainess Capricious Whim bursts into action, doing everything within her considerable power to turn the threat back… including working with the heroes. Amidst the push and pull of her many working partnerships, Caprice struggles with her enemies, her allies, and herself to organize the biggest strike force Imperial City has ever seen, but will it be enough?

This novel is for mature readers only and contains explicit descriptions of violence and sexual situations. It is dark fantasy/science-fiction centering on a villain as the protagonist and is not for the faint of heart!

 

 

 

 

This was good, but I’m still left with a TON of questions. The Knight of Disks really only answered one question for me…. Rory.

Caprice is still a badass and has a lot of personal growth. She is making friends but still reminding them who she is at her core. Although, I think she is a hero trapped in a villains body. LOL! Caprice would totally gut me for saying that.

 

 

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So, this story took a left turn for me. It was good and exciting and had a lot of action, but it seemed like the story got a mind of its own and it was difficult to figure out where to go. I’m talking about the Green Meanie, Pangea.

 

 

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The story was all about her. Pangea this and Pangea that. Here a Pangea, there a Pangea, everywhere a Pangea. This bitch was literally everywhere and was… well… a bit underwhelming. I wanted to know more about Caprice and what is locked away in her head. I feel that we are even further away from unlocking the mystery that is Caprice.

 

 

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I guess I’ll have to wait for that. Anyway, Caprice the Villain makes a deal with a White Hat to save her city. Ahem… hero…. Well, she rallies the other villains for a once in a life time deal that is very difficult to pass up. The catch, you have to battle Pangea and you have to trust that the White Hats wont fuck you over.

 

 

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There was this guy, named Lethal, (I think) and he made me laugh. He wasn’t in the story too much, but some of the stuff he said made me giggle a little.

 

 

“God damn fucking puke fuckers making me come to this stupid dark shitty plant cave, he grumbled to all of us. What in the shitty ass hell was I thinking about? Going to get cock smoked here by these doorknob fucking shit gobblers, I just know it. Fuck me through a rotating pastry with a chainsaw! All of them are asshole tuna queens! Why did I ever….”

 

 

There was some sex in the book, but not a lot. And to be honest… I’m happy about that. I’ve personally been in a book funk and I really enjoyed the action/adventure of the story rather than the sexy side. But the sex that’s in here, is really great. 🙂

For me… the ending was anticlimactic. I was really expecting a lot more. Maybe that’s the book funk still lingering, I dont know.

Overall, I really enjoyed the book. This author is an instant buy for me. She is great with world building and I really enjoy every trip I have taken into her twisted mind.

 

 

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About the Author

 

 

ALANA MELOS is a struggling author who found out writing erotica gave her much more freedom in writing than when she wrote the “serious” literary stuff. Since this discovery, she’s endeavored to write the very best interesting, weird, plot-driven, and hot erotica she can. She sincerely hopes to just entertain people, whether they read for the plot, the weird factor, or the racy factor. Along with her loving husband, she lives with a crazy cat.

 

 

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Review ~ Garden Gnome Sex Party by Fannie Tucker

Title: Garden Gnome Sex Party
Also known as “Garden Gnome Gangbang”
Series: NA
Author: Fannie Tucker
Genre: Monster, Smut
Pages: 21
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall: 4 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Naughty Book Snitch: Mindy
See Mindy’s Goodreads Review Here

 

 

When Jenny adds a little whimsical flavor to her garden with a trio of gnome statues, she never suspects what’s in store. When the sun goes down, Jenny discovers her new lawn ornaments are ready to get busy, and they know how to use those pointy red hats to please a woman!

Warning: Explicit adult material. Three on one action, hard pointy hats, and gnomehoods as big as any man’s! 3300 words

 

 

Review

 

 

I’ve had this book on my TBR for a while and thought I would give it a try on this long weekend. What better way to spend the 4th of July weekend reading a short and smutty book. 😉

This is a really silly, funny and very erotic short story. Jenny loves her garden and spent a little extra money ordering 3 garden gnmoes for her beautiful garden. Fudwick, Loopwyn and Bimpo are the Gnomes that arrived. Jenny immediately placed the gnomes in the garden then went to read one of her steamy romance novels (sounds familiar 😉 ). When Jenny started feeling a little horny and touching herself while reading, the Gnomes started moving a little closer to her.

 

 

Garden Gnomes

 

 

“If this is all a dream, what can it hurt?”

 

 

I’m sure you can imagine what happened next.

 

 

“A lickey-loo! A lickey-loo! She’s going to give me a lickey-loo!”

 

 

“Loopwyn, Bimpo, my gnome friends,
She sounds pleased, and so our pleasure ends!
Living in the garden, sing and hum!
Drench this lady with our gnomish come!”

 

 

Garden Gnomes

 

 

“Oh my goodness, it tastes like candy!”

 

 

Garden Gnomes

 

 

Overall, this is pretty good. I enjoyed it and it made me laugh.

 

 

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About the Author

 

 

Fannie Tucker likes driving too fast, cussing too loud, and writing stories that explore sexual fantasies of strong women rendered powerless by lust-filled men and monsters. She seeks to give her readers fresh, original stories that sometimes shock, always titillate, and leave them guessing until the very end.

She first discovered her talent for steamy prose while passing dirty notes to her boyfriend during English 201. When her professor confiscated one of the notes, he kept her after class and recommended a new and interesting line of work. She’s never looked back.

Fannie is the author of over 180 works of steamy horror, romance, and adventure ranging from the kinky to the downright weird. She lives in California with her husband and a Dachshund who rules them both.

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Review ~ I Fucked the Puppet by Fannie Tucker

Title: I Fucked the Puppet
Series: NA
Author: Fannie Tucker
Genre: Monster, Smut
Pages: 15
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall: 3 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Naughty Book Snitch: Mindy
See Mindy’s Goodreads Review Here

 

 

Aspiring ballerina Emily doesn’t like her job as a backup dancer on the “Dongo the Puppet” show. When she stays late to get a wardrobe malfunction repaired, Dongo catches her ballet dancing, and Emily finds out what it’s like to dance on puppet strings!

Warning: Explicit sexual content. Puppet sex, bondage, domination, and a big green monster who knows how to please a woman! 4000 words.

 

 

Review

 

 

Meh, it was okay. Interesting concept with a magical puppet.

Cass is a new backup dancer for Dongo the Puppet show. Not exactly where she wanted to be in her career. Late one night she bumps into Dongo, who still hasn’t taken off his costume. Dongo ends up teasing and pissing Cass off but things suddenly turn in a completely different direction. So why not just go with it….

 

 

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“Well, it’s not every day you get to fuck an imaginary puppet, may as well give him head.

 

 

Yep, sounds legit. Hahaha 😀

 

 

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The first half of the book is the “story” and the second half is a bunch of excerpts for other books. But overall, it was just okay. A quick smutty and funny read and I would most definitely read more from this author.

 

 

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About the Author

 

 

Fannie Tucker likes driving too fast, cussing too loud, and writing stories that explore sexual fantasies of strong women rendered powerless by lust-filled men and monsters. She seeks to give her readers fresh, original stories that sometimes shock, always titillate, and leave them guessing until the very end.

She first discovered her talent for steamy prose while passing dirty notes to her boyfriend during English 201. When her professor confiscated one of the notes, he kept her after class and recommended a new and interesting line of work. She’s never looked back.

Fannie is the author of over 180 works of steamy horror, romance, and adventure ranging from the kinky to the downright weird. She lives in California with her husband and a Dachshund who rules them both.

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Review ~ Hard, Fast, and Unprotected…With Him! by Jenni Sartre

Title: Hard, Fast, and Unprotected…With Him!
Series: NA
Author: Jenni Sartre
Genre: Taboo, Smut, Food Fetish
Pages: 15
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall: 2 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Naughty Book Snitch: Mindy
See Mindy’s Goodreads Review Here

 

 

I didn’t expect to ever see him again

When Theresa goes to the Cherry Gala with her friends, she doesn’t expect to have her body put up to the charity auction, and she certainly doesn’t expect to be purchased by the handsome man she knows very well…

Theresa’s aching body has been waiting a long time for him…and he’s ready to take her hard, fast, and unprotected. The only problem is:

He’s the man of the house

 

 

Review

 

 

Resa is an artist. She is invited, by one her clients to go to a masquerade party (I think that is where she is at) where her artwork is displayed. Her client then puts her up for auction. Then there is this guy who is checking her out and he wins her in the auction. He claims his prize by immediately kissing her. While this guy is kissing her, Resa has this random thought…..

 

 

“My mind suddenly produces an image of me sucking strawberry glaze off his cock and a mewling noise rises from deep within my throat.”

 

 

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Okay… so the red flags and alarms are going off in my head. I do not like food and sex mixed together. Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit. To each their own and if that is something you like, then you go for it.

So I continue reading and Resa and this guy she just met, start fucking. They have masks on and realize later that they know each other. This masked guy is her mom’s exhusband. Then the crazy food sexcapades start and they raid the refrigerator. Whipped cream, chocolate syrup and cherries. Its like a sex Sunday and the masked exstep dad is bringing the banana.

 

 

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So then I read this quote….

“Why is there a cherry in the toilet now?”
He stuck his face around the curtain, “Sounds like a personal problem to me.”
I rolled my eyes at him and he shrugged, “What? Did I pop your cherry or something?”

 

 

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Nope. I cant do food fetish. Ugh! There should be a warning that says *FOOD FETISH*. I knew this was a taboo read and all I wanted was to read a quick smutty book before bed. But then food happened and ruined it for me.

If taboo step parent and food fetish is your thing, then you might want to pick this one up. But not my cuppa.

 

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Review ~ Turned Gay by the Existential Dread that I May Actually Be a Character in a Chuck Tingle Book

Title: Turned Gay by the Existential Dread that I May Actually Be a Character in a Chuck Tingle Book 
Series: NA
Author: Dr. Chuck Tingle
Genre: Tingler, Erotica, Humor
Pages: 42
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Naughty Book Snitch: Alana

Brad and his wife, Carrie, are all set for a beautiful San Diego vacation, free from the oppressive anxiety of the modern workweek. Things take a turn for the strange, however, when Brad reads the latest Chuck Tingle book and slowly begins to doubt the universe around him.

Were they always staying at the Butt Point Suites? Or was the original name of their hotel Sandy Point? Is the man at the front desk unrealistically handsome? And what are the odds of them ending up in room sixty-nine?

As things begin to unravel, Brad is force to face his deep existential dread in this erotic philological thriller, culminated in a hardcore hot tub encounter with his personified cosmic anxiety.

This erotic tale is 4,800 words of sizzling human on gay personified emotion action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and existential dread love.

This is the last installment of TingleFest 2016!

 

As such, the review is something special….

Review – Alien Attachments by Sabine Priestley

Title: Alien Attachments
Series: Alien Attachments #1
Author: Sabine Priestley
Genre: Sci-Fi, Romance
Pages: 208
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall: 5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Naughty Book Snitch: Mindy
See Mindy’s Goodreads Review Here

 

 

Will their love be strong enough to keep them alive and get them back to Earth?

Finding one’s psi-mate is something every Sandarian hopes for, but when Ian Cavacent accidentally starts the bonding process with the Earthling, Dani, he has to fight his desire with every ounce of his being. If the process is completed, it means both political and financial suicide for Ian and his family.

A natural klutz, Dani somehow always manages to land on her feet and win her mixed martial arts matches. At home on Cat Island, her balance is thrown when bazillionaire Ian takes notice. Unfortunately some Torog aliens also take notice, sending her life spiraling out of control and into Ian’s arms. But Dani isn’t the type of woman to let alien voodoo decide her future or her mate. . .no matter how gorgeous the man is or how much pleasure he gives her.

For centuries the Cavacents have mined Earth for a precious element, carnium, while protecting the planet from other alien species. Thanks to the Torogs, Dani and Ian must flee to Sandaria. As Dani learns to use her newfound psi powers, the empire crumbles around them.

73,000 Words

 

 

Review

 

 

I loved this so much! I’ve been getting burnt out on my reading and I needed a good story to break me out of it. THIS is that story! Fantastic read!

 

 

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So… here I am wanting to read something different and perfectly different is exactly what I got. I got to keep the allure of romance, picked up some action and adventure with a kickass story. If you can’t tell by now, I absolutely loved this. I was super lucky to meet this author, Sabine Priestley, at the Multi-Genre Book Signing in Orlando Florida this past May. I chatted with her about sci-fi romance and how I wish I could find more books in that genre. Well, I picked up her Alien Attachments and I was NOT disappointed at all!

 

 

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I love this and it was a hard one to put down. I couldn’t stop thinking about when I was forced to put it down and adult for the day. I thought about it all day at work, all night while at home and just couldn’t get it out of my head. Actually, I could read the book again, right now because I loved it that much. I’m sure I can find something new every time I read it.

The world building, character development and threading of the story are superb. I was rewarded with action and adventure and I never wanted it to end. I mentioned my book slump earlier… and I was really happy to discover that the sex was light but very meaningful. Also, it’s not your typical sex either. In my opinion, it was on another level… deeper connection due to the their psi. It wasn’t thrown in the story right off the bat either. I got to know the world and characters a bit before I jumped into bed with them.

 

 

“This gets more and more like a cheesy fantasy flick every day. We’re on a quest to somehow mend a magic portal, and blocking our way are nasty, smelly, alien creatures. I assume we have a plan?”

 

 

Dani, the heroine is a total badass! She isn’t a whinny baby! She is a smart, tough, doesn’t take shit from anyone, she stands up for herself and she’s a fighter. Literally (think Ronda Rouse). I also really love that just because she is fated to mate with someone, she doesn’t just fall into the arms of her intended. Nope, she makes that guy work for it and he should. Dani isn’t perfect and that makes her more relatable. Although she is a fighter, she is far from graceful. She is a klutz.

 

 

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Ian is the alpha alien who is crushing on Dani pretty hard. BUT… she is human and on his planet, mating/bonding with a human is forbidden. So, to keep Dani away, he acts like a bag of dicks! He is so mean to her and pushes her so far away that she meets Balastar. I’m going to stop right there on that topic. You’ll have to read to book to see what I’m talking about.

 

 

“At times it seemed his desire for her was matched only by his anger at her. Completely irrational.”

 

 

I do have to quickly mention Marco. I can’t wait to read more about him. His doesn’t get a lot of page time in this book but he is funny. There is this one part that cracks me up! You’ll know what I’m talking about when you hit that part.

 

 

“I’m growing it back, baby! You didn’t think a little Torog laser treatment would stop me, did you?” He held the bulb up to her face.

 

 

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There are only a couple things I can pick at… there are a few parts that made me cross eyed for a minute due to some of the lengthy conversations about portals and time travel. It’s not so lengthy that it takes away from the story, but I did find my mind wandering a bit and had to reread a little bit. Then there is Armond… what he did was not okay and I don’t understand how that was just glossed over. Now… I almost never comment on misspelled words or grammar. I have no room to talk… but there are a few words that are spelled correctly, but used in the wrong sentence. For example though should have been through and breath should have been breathe. Anyway, it only happened a few times and didn’t take away from the story at all.

Overall, I fracking loved this book and I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the series. Alien Attachments had everything I needed right now. Great story, characters, romance, connection, action and adventure.

 

 

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I received a copy of this book via the author in exchange for an honest review.
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About the Author

 

 

A lifelong lover of books, Sabine grew up on Science Fiction, Fantasy and Romance novels. As a child she wanted to be an astronaut and travel the stars looking for aliens. As an adult she’s seriously disappointed we’ve yet to establish so much as a moon base (although she gives a hearty nod to the ISS) and is pretty sure Humans aren’t ready to meet ET. An Electrical Engineer and Cultural Anthropologist by training, she’s a geek with heart. She’s lived in more states than she cares to admit and loves to travel. When not in far off lands, you can frequently find her walking the local beaches and plotting her next adventure. Sabine lives in Florida with her husband, kids, cats and an increasingly large mess of characters in her head.

You can find Sabine onher website, FaceBook, Twitter, and of course email at SabinePriestley@gmail.com

 

 

 

Review ~ Space Raptor Butt Invasion by Dr. Chuck Tingle

Title: Space Raptor Butt Invasion 
Series: NA
Author: HUGO NOMINATED AUTHOR Dr. Chuck Tingle
Genre: Humor, Erotica, Tingler
Pages: 38
Heat Level: 2 out of 4 flames
Overall Star Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by: Naughty Book Snitch Alana

Space can be a lonely place, especially when you’re stationed by yourself on the distant planet Zorbus. In fact, Lance isn’t quite sure that can last the whole year before his shuttle pod arrives, but when a mysterious visitor appears at Lance’s terraforming station, he quickly realizes that he might not be so alone after all.

Soon enough, Lance becomes close with this mysterious new astronaut, a velociraptor. Together, they form an unlikely duo, which quickly begins to cross the boundaries of friendship into something much, much more sensual.

It’s not gay if it’s a man and a dinosaur, is it?

This erotic tale is 4,100 words of sizzling human on gay dinosaur action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and space raptor love.

Review

A touch late, but here’s the latest for TingleFest 2016!

Nice graphic, eh?

Ah, I actually remember reading this for research when I was getting ready to launch my own erotica career! This, among many other erotica shorts (which I honestly don’t remember–this was the only memorable one), helped to shape my writing. Now, I found out I can’t do humor erotica like Dr. Chuck Tingle. There’s simply no one but the master. As one might argue Virginia Wade started the monster erotica trend (she’s certainly the most famous of the monster erotica indie authors), Chuck Tingle has taken that and ran with it. With scissors. And an eternal love for gay ass.

We start out with a nameless astronaut on Outpost Zorbus. I say nameless because he doesn’t have a name for quite a while. It actually starts out with two astronauts (Pike being the other one) talking and going about their business, rather normally. You would actually think they would end up being lovers, but no! Not in a Tingleverse book. Pike is actually going home, leaving our nameless astronaut here by himself.

Not for long! As he’s outside, he sees another astronaut! Shocked and surprised, when our nameless astronaut goes back to his base, he hears a knocking on the hatch door! Here, we finally learn our astronaut’s name is Lance Tanner as he lets the other astronaut in… only to find out he is a velociraptor!

The raptor’s name is Orion. Over the next few days they start to hang out and get to know each other. It’s actually quite sweet to read. The subject of sex comes up, and Orion admits he’s never had sex with a human for fear of crushing a human female. Lance brings up the subject of gay sex… and Orion agrees, thinking he “might be into that”. This leads to the best line in the book:

“I mean, it’s not gay if it’s a dude raptor and a dude human, right?” I ask.

What follows is actually a pretty standard sex scene… other than one partner is a raptor. It’s weird reading an early Chuck Tingle book because it’s actually.. not so WTF and more just hot dino sex. I’m of the opinion one doesn’t read Chuck Tingle for the erotica, but for the humor. However, this is when the author was still finding his feet. As it is, it’s a solid introduction to the Tingleverse, a sweet and somewhat hot gay dino/dude love scene, and a great parallel to Chuck’s later works which go off the chart crazy. I would give this 7 “Totally Not Gay” Astronauts out of 10.

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